Welcome! This is a free newsletter on becoming a Response-Able parent
raising Response-Able children.
-------Henry J. Kaiser Foundation study.
5. Article: Charity Begins At Home
Charity Begins at Home
By Thomas Haller and Chick Moorman
" Mom, we've got to have a family meeting. We need to vote.
We have to give our charity money to the children. We have to send it
Those excited words were uttered by eight-year-old Madison Willow, who
was moved to action by viewing the tragic outcomes resulting from the
recent Asian tsunami. Madison, like millions of people from around the
world, had been touched by the suffering, loss, and grief of the survivors
she saw on TV. But unlike many of the people who extended heartfelt charity
during this special time of extreme need, Madison has experienced a regular
pattern of charity in her young life that has helped her view the process
of giving as more than a crisis-oriented activity.
A family meeting was indeed called by Madison's parents following
her emotional outburst. It was convened to discuss the family charity
jar that sits tucked away in the kitchen, hidden at the rear of the canned
" I know it's not time to decide who gets our charity money,
but this is an emergency," Madison explained to her parents and
two younger brothers. No one in the Willow family needed convincing.
They had all seen the dramatic television images of leveled homes, overturned
cars, and the search for missing persons. They had watched as mothers
cried for their dead children, fathers sat in stunned silence, and children
wandered aimlessly, looking for evidence of anything familiar. It took
less than 10 minutes for the Willows to vote to send the 47 dollars and
58 cents they had accumulated to the Red Cross to help the survivors
of the tsunami.
Robert and Tammy Willow believe that giving is important. They also
believe that teaching their children about giving is equally important.
That's why they began the charity jar in the first place. That's
why it occupies an important place in their Sunday night ritual.
Each Sunday night during their family meeting, the Willows distribute
allowances to their children. The youngsters are invited to contribute
some of their allowance to the charity jar. If or how much they contribute
is up to each individual. Robert and Tammy model the importance of giving
by adding a portion of their own money each week.
When the contents of the jar exceed one hundred dollars, the family
decides together on a charity to receive the money. One winter the Willow
family bought gloves and donated them to the Salvation Army. On another
occasion, they adopted a whale. In the past three years they've
purchased a winter coat as part of the " coats for kids" program,
obtained and wore Lance Armstrong cancer bracelets, and made a donation
to a local retirement ranch for abused horses.
At this hastily called family summit, the Willows easily reached consensus
on what to do with the charity money. But the unanimous decision to send
the contents of the charity jar to the Red Cross did not end the learning
experience for Madison and her brothers. They helped count the money.
They watched as their mother wrote the check. Madison addressed the envelope.
One of the boys added the stamp. The other licked the envelope. All went
to the post office to place their contribution in the drop box. All prayed
together as Mr. Willow asked that the money be used for the greater good
of all concerned.
This time the Willows' charity would be sent halfway around the
world to people they would never see. It would be used in places they
would never visit. It would affect lives in ways they would never know.
Yet giving has many dimensions, some obvious, some not. The Willow family
gave the money for the benefit of others, but in the process they gave
themselves a deep sense of satisfaction. They gave other people's
children hope while simultaneously giving their own children lessons
on the importance of generosity and charity. They gave others an invitation
to open their hearts while giving their children lessons on how to open
their own. They helped their children experience first-hand the important
concept that giving and receiving are one.
Charity, as demonstrated by the Willows, clearly begins at home.
Thomas Haller and Chick Moorman are the authors of The 10 Commitments:
Parenting with Purpose (available from Personal Power Press at toll-free
877-360-1477, amazon.com, and bookstores everywhere). Visit www.thomashaller.com,
www.chickmoorman.com, and www.10commitments.net.
6. The Parent Talk System Facilitator Training
We are looking for interested adults to become local facilitators of
the Parent Talk System's Language of Response-Able Parenting model.
Take a giant step toward being of service to the parents in your community,
school, or church group by helping them learn effective verbal skills
to use with their children.
You don't need to have a teaching degree. You don't even need to have
experience presenting to groups. We will help you learn all you need
to know to put the highly effective Parent Talk skills into the hands
of parents in your church, school, or organization.
You will leave this three-day training with the skills and confidence
to touch the hearts and minds of parents in your community!
April 7-9, 2005
Santa Barbara, CA
Sponsored by Mastery Life and Children of the New Earth Magazine
Facilitated by Chick Moorman. Limited to 35 participants. Request a
brochure from Ivonne Delaflor, director of the Parent Talk System in
Mexico and California, at email@example.com.
7. Did You Know?
1. We never give your email address to anyone, ever, for any reason.
2. We now have trainers helping parents learn the Parent Talk System
verbal skills in 14 states and 5 countries, including, Australia, Canada,
Spain, and Mexico.
3. A child is watching.
4. We have a sister publication for educators. You can subscribe to
it at firstname.lastname@example.org.
5. It is easy to get Thomas Haller or Chick Moorman to come to your
church, school, or organization to make a presentation on one of their
inspirational and practical parenting topics. You determine a date and
place, contact Thomas at Thomas@thomashaller.com or Chick at email@example.com
to book it, announce it to you people, pay Thomas or Chick their reasonable
honorarium, and know you have taken an important step in strengthening
families in your community.
6.. You can find many more parenting articles and resources at www.chickmoorman.com
7. Our newest book, The 10 Commitments:
Parenting with Purpose sold
over 2000 copies in the first three weeks. Buy it at Amazon.com!
8. Parenting is for a lifetime.
8. From the Book Shelf: The Positive Child
The Positive Child: Through the Language of Love by Ivonne Delaflor
is a book we highly recommend. This book is a major shift in perception
in what it means to be an effective parent in today's world. The
Positive Child offers new ways to look at our children and our influence
in their lives---through the eyes of love. In addition to addressing
how to raise a positive child, this book also asks parents to change
their consciousness as they read and implement the strategies.
The Positive Child demonstrates how to hold a child in a state of grace
as you teach lessons, offer positive discipline, and model effective
communication. It explains how to hold yourself in a state of grace as
you parent, make mistakes, and learn lessons. The Positive Child is a
work of love about love, concerning love. We loved it and think you will
it at Amazon.com! The Positive Child (TM) : Through the Language
Chick Moorman and Thomas Haller
9. We Get Email
This is a worried mother who is asking for help. My daughter is 6 years
old. She lacks self-confidence, doesn't take initiative, and is
always scared to start off new things. Her initial reaction to every
new thing is to start crying and making excuses. She says, " I can't
do it." She is a loving and caring child, but she has developed
this habit and I am really worried about her development as an independent
individual in this era of tough competition.
Would really appreciate your guidance.
A Worried Mother
Dear Worried Mother,
Your daughter has lots of time to grow and mature. At this point, we
suggest you do not push her to do new things unless she shows an interest.
Give her lots of opportunities to do the things she is already good at.
Confidence comes from doing things well. Focus on her strengths for now.
Give her choices about whether or not to attempt new things. Let it be
her idea when and how to move forward and challenge herself.
If she lacks skills, take the time to teach her the skills if she desires.
Encourage her without pushing your agenda. Let her choose not to participate
if that is her desire.
Appreciate all the things she does well. Enjoy her being six.
Be careful how you use the words always, never, and every. When you
use Parent Talk like you did in your email, you brand your child as that
way. Children that see themselves a certain way are more likely to act
that way. When you use always, never, and every, you actually reinforce
the behavior you want to eliminate.
Hope you find these suggestions helpful,
Chick Moorman and Thomas Haller
To find out more about workshops, seminars, and keynote addresses presented
by Chick Moorman and Thomas Haller, contact them at (toll-free) 877-360-1477
or visit www.thomashaller.com or www.chickmoorman.com.
Copyright 2005 Chick Moorman Seminars and Haller's Healing Minds, all
rights reserved. Share this with your circle.