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The Response-Able Parenting Newsletter 38
February 21, 2005

Welcome! This is a free newsletter on becoming a Response-Able parent raising Response-Able children.

Our mission is to strengthen families and improve parent communication skills (including our own) by helping parents learn practical, usable verbal strategies for raising responsible, caring, confident children.

1.  Quote
2.  Spirit Whisperer Contemplation
3.  Bumper Sticker
4.  International Parenting Commitment Day
5.  Article: Teach Your Child the Charity Habit
6.  The Parent Talk System Facilitator Training
7.  Did you know?
8.  Detention
9.  We Get Email

1. Quote

"Tell me a fact and I'll learn. Tell me the truth and I'll believe. Tell me a story and it will live in my heart forever."

----Native American Proverb

2. Spirit Whisperer Contemplation

What if the second step isn't revealed until we take the first step? Is there a parenting step you are not taking today because you cannot see several steps ahead? Take a first step today without knowing the second step. The direction it leads you in might delight and surprise you.

3. Bumper Sticker

Spotted on a Ford Pinto in Romeo, MI:

Proud Parent of a Boy Scout

4. International Parenting Commitment Day

International Parenting Commitment Day, March 20th, is fast approaching. Are you ready and willing to recommit to your children and family? Will you pledge to become the best parent you can be? Will you implement steps to move in that direction?


The mission of International Parenting Commitment Day is to assist parents throughout the world to commit or recommit to the sacred and important role of parenting so they can uplift, encourage, and inspire children to become responsible, caring, confident people.


For resolutions, celebrations, rituals, stories, and other exciting strategies for celebrating International Parenting Commitment Day, check out the ideas at

5. Article: Teach Your Child the Charity Habit

Teach Your Child the Charity Habit

By Chick Moorman and Thomas Haller

Charity and the spirit of giving have been elevated to a new level following the recent Asian tsunami. After witnessing the horrific images of pain and suffering streaming steadily across their TV screens, more people than ever before have dipped deeper into their own pockets to offer needed relief to the survivors of this unprecedented tragedy.

Many parents are using the destruction delivered by the disaster as an opportunity to help children learn about charity and the importance of reaching out to others in their time of need. They have made generous family donations, often involving their children in picking out the charity, writing the check, and preparing and mailing the envelope. They have allowed their children to witness turning the pain and grief of unimaginable loss into a time of extending love and compassion to unknown people halfway around the world.

Clearly, the recent tsunami provides an opportune time to teach children about charity. But what if parents want lessons about charity to be more than a onetime occurrence? What if they want the spirit of giving to be a way of life for their children? What if they want charity to become a habit?

To help your children acquire the habit of charity, consider implementing as a family the following strategies:

1. Periodically go through your closets rooting out clothes you haven't worn in a while to be given to the Salvation Army or Goodwill for distribution to the needy. Encourage your children to do the same. Allow them to select which clothes or toys they wish to donate. The value of this activity is diminished greatly if you go through their closets for them without their presence. For maximum benefit, get your children involved in choosing the appropriate items. Take your children with you when you drop the items off at the charitable destination.

2. Regularly engage in a service-oriented project. Rake the leaves of an elderly couple. Bake cookies for a serviceman or servicewoman. Bake bread and deliver it to the homeless feeding station in your community.

3. Give blood. Take your children with you so they see you as a model for giving. Talk to them about why you choose to donate blood and what you hope it will accomplish.

4. Set up birthday parties as a time for giving to others. At your child's first school-age birthday party, ask guests to bring a gift of a book (new or used) to be donated to a local charity. Talk to your son or daughter about the books he or she has and about children who have no books. Explain that one way to celebrate a birthday would be to give to those who have less. Involve the birthday child in the decision of whether to give the books to a women's shelter, a doctor's office, or some other appropriate organization. When you deliver the books with your child, record it on camera.

5. At regular intervals buy dog or cat food and take it to the Humane Society. Allow your children to spend some time with the recipients of the gift.

6. Build food baskets around the holidays and give to a needy family suggested by your church or school. Involve your children in selecting canned goods, fruit, and other treats to include. Decorate the gift package and deliver it together as a family.

7. Create a charity jar to be used by the family when allowances are distributed. Invite children to share some of their allowance with others by donating to the jar. As the jar fills, decide as a family where to contribute the contents. You may choose to save a whale, buy gloves for needy children, or contribute to a cancer charity or some other worthy cause. Read about various charities on the Internet and share this information with your children to help them make an informed decision.

8. Do things for the elderly they have trouble doing for themselves. Pick up sticks in your neighbor's yard after a big windstorm. Mow the grass for Grandma. Wash Grandpa's car. Clean their windows in the spring. Help them plant flowers.

9. Put your name on a service schedule at your church or synagogue. Sign up for a time to mow the grass and trim the bushes. Take your turn ushering and allow your child to assist.

By implementing some of the ideas above or others like them, you will be teaching your children that charity is not reserved only for emergencies. You will be helping them appreciate that reaching out to others in need is a way of life rather than something you do only when a catastrophic disaster occurs. Remember, while you are giving to others, you are giving your children important messages about your beliefs concerning the spirit of giving.

Thomas Haller and Chick Moorman are the authors of The 10 Commitments: Parenting with Purpose (available from Personal Power Press at toll-free 877-360-1477,, and bookstores everywhere). Visit,, and

6. The Parent Talk System Facilitator Training

We are looking for interested adults to become local facilitators of the Parent Talk System's Language of Response-Able Parenting model.

Take a giant step toward being of service to the parents in your community, school, or church group by helping them learn effective verbal skills to use with their children.

You don't need to have a teaching degree. You don't even need to have experience presenting to groups. We will help you learn all you need to know to put the highly effective Parent Talk skills into the hands of parents in your church, school, or organization.

You will leave this three-day training with the skills and confidence to touch the hearts and minds of parents in your community!

April 7-9, 2005
Santa Barbara, CA
Sponsored by Mastery Life and Children of the New Earth Magazine

Facilitated by Chick Moorman. Limited to 35 participants. Request a brochure from Ivonne Delaflor, director of the Parent Talk System in Mexico and California, at

7. Did You Know?

1. You may be deleted from this newsletter mailing list at any time. Just email and request to be deleted from the Response-Able Parenting Newsletter list.

2. The main reason for holding children's parties is to remind yourself that your children are doing as well or better than everyone else's.

3. You may reprint any of our articles in your organizational newsletter without our permission. All that we ask is that you print it in its entirety and add the following tagline:

Thomas Haller and Chick Moorman are the authors of The 10 Commitments: Parenting with Purpose (available from Personal Power Press at toll-free 877-360-1477,, and bookstores everywhere). Visit,, and

4. It is easier to build a child than to repair an adult.

5. Choose from four informative and entertaining parent programs when booking Thomas Haller or Chick Moorman for your PTA, church, or organizational meeting:

Parent Talk: Words That Empower, Words That Wound
Managing Aggression and Anger in Children
The 10 Commitments: Parenting with Purpose
Grace-full Parenting: Adding Grace to your Parenting

6. Children have more need of models than of critics.

7. Our newest book, The 10 Commitments: Parenting with Purpose, has gone back to press for a second printing. The attention this important book is receiving is rewarding and motivating. We are incredibly grateful. Order at

8. March is National Parenting Month.

8. Serving Detention

Susan and Steven Manis say it was their fault their daughter was late for school, so they shared her punishment -- spending an hour with her in detention. The couple says their 13-year-old daughter, Jessica Dunkley, was being unfairly punished for being late six times in October and November when the family's van wouldn't start. So when administrators insisted the Pearland Junior High School East seventh-grader would have to spend an hour in detention, her parents decided to go with her. "We're more at fault than she is," said Susan Manis, who had appealed the administration's decision. After the punishment was over, Jessica said it was "a little embarrassing" to have her mom and stepfather in detention with her. But, she said, "I'm proud of them for sticking up for what they believe in."

9. We Get Email

Hello Chick and Thomas,

I heard both of you speak at the Michigan PTA. Your sessions were practical and down to earth. I began using many of the ideas right away. I bought The 10 Commitments book and found it extremely useful. I am a committed parent--in most areas. And I am a frustrated parent at the moment. I hope you can help.

My two-year-old daughter doesn't like to get her hair washed. She goes bonkers every time I try to do it. It is such a hassle. My husband, my daughter, and I dread bath time every evening. Her tantrums are frustrating and irritating. After the bath scene, it takes an hour to calm her down. I don't know what to do. I have been working on the fourth commitment, Managing My Mind first, but I am not being very successful.

Thanks for your help,

Ready to Pull My Own Hair


Dear Ready to Pull,

Go slow and easy with your daughter. We recommend you don't wash her hair if it's not dirty. This isn't something that needs to be done every night. Don't expect her to change overnight. She will grow and change in her own time when she feels ready.

In the meantime, develop some rituals around the hair-washing scenario. Make it fun. Splash, play, blow bubbles in the tub. Create washing time as a fun time for you and her. Make the whole experience be about more than just washing hair.

Have her wash her dolly's hair and explain why she needs to do it for her dolly. Teach her to be gentle with the doll and be careful not to get any soap in the doll's eyes. Teach her to help the doll stay calm and relaxed.

Do not wash hair under a faucet. Use a cup to put the water on her head. You can purchase a visor (similar to a hat) that she can wear to keep the water from getting on her face, while still washing her hair.

We also suggest that you get her involved in swimming classes so she can learn that water is fun and safe to be around. This will empower her around her fear and help her relax.

Reread the commitment on moving UP before you move IN (the fourth commitment). We want you to keep your hair and your peace of mind.

Best wishes.

Chick and Thomas

To find out more about workshops, seminars, and keynote addresses presented by Chick Moorman and Thomas Haller, contact them at (toll-free) 877-360-1477 or visit or

Copyright 2005 Chick Moorman Seminars and Haller's Healing Minds, all rights reserved. Share this with your circle.


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